Proven ways to conquer performance anxiety (stage fright)… that will transform playing for others from a dreadful ordeal into something to celebrate!
Table of Contents
Lesson Goals
Prepare yourself to be immersed in a transformational process that will teach you many new insights and instill many new skills.
Along the way, we are going to learn that:
- performance anxiety (stage fright) is not a permanent character trait.
- having performance anxiety doesn’t make you broken; it makes you human.
- you are not alone and don’t have to hide your anxiety.
- stage fright isn’t something you have to live with, but is something you can manage and even overcome.
- managing your nerves is a learnable skill..
- working on performance anxiety is something you can study and practice just like you study and practice scales, chords, chord progressions, form, meter, rhythm, ear training, and technique.
- there are lots of things we can do to change way we think, feel, and do. in response.
- we reduce our anxiety by aligning our thinkings, feelings, and doings with reality.
- a performance isn’t something to fear; it’s something to celebrate.
- we can actually practice having stage fright so we can discover how it affects our bodies and practice responding with simple, but highly effective counter-measures.
- our comfort in front of an audience is about being ourselves, not what anyone else wants or expects us to be.
- a meaningful performance isn’t about perfection, but about authenticity.
- it’s not about eliminating nerves, but about expanding your comfort zones.
- imperfection doesn’t make us failures; it makes us human.
- your comfort on stage is largely about playing music for the right reasons.
- gratitude is a master attitude, above all others with the power to transform who we are as musicians and human beings.
In summary, we are going to eliminate all those unproductive and destructive thoughts and feelings we no longer want to have in our brains and bodies. We are going to override primitive emotional and physical responses that, by predisposition or conditioning, prevent us from performing as well as we know we can. And, as we go through this transformational process, we are going to touch upon many aspects of what it means to be human… with honesty, humor, and courage.
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Special Note from Frank
I, too, suffer from performance anxiety (stage fright) in varying degrees. I, too, know the devastating effects it can have on your mental, emotional, and physical states as well as how damaging it is to your awareness, execution, and feeling of self-worth. But I have also learned a short list of practical ways to transform feelings of dread and frustration into healthy nerves that have become a valued musical friend. That’s what this posting and free downloadable pamphlet (PDF) are all about. Enjoy!
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Stage Fright Symptoms
Your heart pounds, palms sweat, muscles tighten, stomach flutters, knees wobble, and voice cracks…
Hands and feet go cold and start to shake. Breathing stops. Mouth goes dry. Butterflies turn into nausea and diarrhea. Brain fogs up. Vision narrows and blurs.
And that’s not all… Time accelerates. Arms, hands, and fingers feel disconnected from each other. Your instrument feels like a stranger. Disoriented, and in sensory overload, you are consumed by feelings of failure and incompetence. Hijacked by forces beyond your control, all you can do is clench your teeth and go along for a horrific ride that feels like an eternity. It all makes you want to run away and never play again.
And that’s still not all… Because performance anxiety doesn’t just rear its ugly head the moment you take the stage. The fear of getting stage fright may be even may be more unpleasant and debilitating than the stage fright itself… tormenting us with worry, nausea, insomnia, and nightmares for days, weeks, and even months before the performance ever begins.
And it gets even worse… Because performance anxiety does more than hurt your performance… and more than make you miserable well before you even take the stage. Performance anxiety also takes its toll on your feelings of self-worth.
It’s tragic indeed that something you love so dearly—sharing your love of music with others—can become a source of so much suffering.
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Stage Fright Causes
We fragile, neurotic, and imperfect human beings can dread performing for all kinds of reasons…
- Fear of not being adequately prepared.
- Fear of making a mistake.
- Fear of being less than perfect.
- Fear of disappointing your audience.
- Fear of disappointing yourself.
- Fear of losing control.
- Fear of freezing up.
- Lack of confidence in one’s abilities.
- Self-consciousness.
- Genral social anxiety.
- Being trained, consciously or unconsciously, to fear embarrassment due to prior bad experiences.
- Playing for the wrong reasons (an unhealthy emphasis on extrinsic rewards such as winning, fame, money and not enough emphasis on the intrinsic joys of playing music.)
- Can you think of some others?
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Reasons for Playing Music
Why would anyone put themself through the discomfort (and possible agony) of playing for others to begin with? Here are some reasons, in no particular order of their value or importance:
- Fame.
- Money.
- Fun.
- Love of music.
- Love of people.
- Community.
- Education.
- Service to others.
- Self-awareness.
- Self-improvement.
- Self-expression.
- Personal growth.
- Can you think of some others?
Takeaway: One of your tasks is to discover and be totally honest about your reasons for playing music. YOUR reasons, not anyone else’s.
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A Practical Reason to Perform
Assuming you are serious about making music an important part of your life, performing for others makes you a better musician… in at least three ways:
- Each performance is a fair measure of your current abilities.
- Each performance tells you what you need to study and practice in order to improve.
- Each approaching performance is a strong motivation to elevate your study-practice habits in preparation.
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Ode to Imperfection
Who would suggest that a mispronounced word or two or occasional hesitation ruins an otherwise articulate and eloquent speech?
Likewise, why should an occasional missed note or hitch in rhythm ruin an otherwise artistic musical performance?
“Perfection”, whatever that means, may happen on occasion. Enjoy it when it does, but do not let it torture you when it doesn’t. In fact, thinking that we can make perfection happen is part of the problem.
And so, let’s all breath a huge sigh of relief by accepting that we are all imperfect members of the human race.
This lesson is so vitally important that it is worth repeating out loud:
Nobody’s perfect!
Nobody!
N-O-B-O-D-Y!
Not you… not me… nobody!
Not even the best of the best!
Making mistakes is a natural part of being human.
Got it?
Good!
But let’s not stop with merely forgiving our imperfections. Let’s take a moment to give ourselves some credit, too… by realizing that playing a musical instrument is an absolutely amazing accomplishment. Even an imperfect performance of the simplest music is an astounding feat of intelligence, dexterity, coordination, memory, awareness, and emotion… a celebration of many wondrous things so essential to our humanity.
A True Stage Fright Story
Before getting into the many practical antidotes to stage fright, indulge me as I share one of the best things that has ever happened to me…
I was accompanying a fabulous vocalist in a packed night club. I had already been playing for a couple of hours and was feeling very comfortable and having a blast (in retrospect perhaps I was feeling too comfortable!) when, out of nowhere, just as we were about to start the second verse of “Open Arms” by Journey, having played the intro and first verse beautifully, I absolutely went blank… and froze.
Every detail of that moment is permanently etched in my mind. I can still see exactly where she was standing and where I was on stage. I immediately sensed a collective “What was that?” from the crowd, as if I single-handedly created a huge tear in the fabric of the universe. Time stood still. I could feel my face flush red hot as my heart suddenly raced without my permission. Not knowing what to do, I simply stopped playing as she sang on without me like the pro that she was.
A few seconds later, and I can’t explain why, I simply closed my eyes and started listening. By no small miracle the music found me (not the other way around) before the next chorus came around and we finished the song on a high note. The crowd cheered, and the rest of the gig went on without a hitch.
And guess what happened?
I survived.
Nobody died.
My friends notice and ribbed me at the break, but they still liked me. In fact, I suspect they liked me even more than before, now that they saw that I, too, was human.
And so, what seemed like the end of the world at the time turned out to be a precious gift… a gift that continues to inform my musical life, and life in general, to this day.
The HUGE Takeaway: Next time you are performing and make a mistake (this will happen), instead of going to the miserable place that screams “I suck! I am such a failure! What a poor excuse for a human being!”, simply shrug, smile, and think to yourself “Oops! I made a boo boo!” and keep on going like nothing ever happened!
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Frank’s Take on the Use of Beta Blockers
Before continuing out exploration of the many non-pharmacological antidotes to stage fright… allow me to share my perspective on the use of Beta Blockers… sometimes considered the “dirty little secret” of professional musicians.
Let’s begin with a basic understanding of the fight, flight, or freeze responses: Under threat, real or imagined, adrenaline pours into your blood stream, automatically activating a set of physiological reactions: increased heart rate, muscle tension, narrowed vision, etc. All these response once served the survival of our ancestors well in a very dangerous natural world.
When the stress of musical performance is viewed from this adaptive evolutionary perspective, it is not unreasonable to view adrenaline as a poison and beta-blockers (a class of drugs that inhibit the undesirable effects of adrenaline) as an antidote… but consider the following:
I once had the opportunity to take a beta-blocker just before a particularly exposed performance, but I chose not to do so. My deeply considered decision was based on the following: I wanted to face the stage fright monster “unprotected” because I wanted to discover the true limits of my capacities under pressure. And I am glad I did, because my experience gave me a new-found confidence that otherwise might have left me ignorant of both my limitations and capabilities… and possibly dependent on an unnecessary chemical crutch.
And so, in summary, having never tried beta-blockers, I suggest the following:
- If you are interested in learning more about Beta-Blockers, do your own research in reputable, peer-reviewed psychology and psychiatry journals.
- Before you even consider using any chemical assistants, first do the experiment of facing your fears “unprotected”, as I did above, in order to assess your capacities without them.
- Invest your time and energy in exploring the very simple, but powerful stage fright remedies that follow… things that anyone can start doing right this very minute without masking the symptoms, spending a nickel, or assuming any health risks.
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Good Humor
An extremely powerful way to tame the stage fright monster is to laugh at it… to laugh at the silly monster inside us that’s so darn serious: “OH MY GOD!!! I made a mistake! How could this happen to PERFECT me?! I am SO perfect! I am so awesome and fabulous! How could I possibly make a mistake?!!!
To laugh at the silly monster who doesn’t realize that everybody else is a lot more worried about how they are doing than about how I am doing. Heck, my own mother, children, best friend, lover, and people in the audience aren’t even thinking about me right now! Ha!
Another way to laugh the silly stage fright monster out of the room is to try to fail on purpose: Let’s really mess things up. Let’s have so much stage fright that it’ll be legendary! The great great grandmother of all stage frights! The most incredible stage fright in the entire history of the universe! People will be talking about my stage fright for generations to come!
Takeaway: Let’s lighten up and laugh at ourselves and enjoy the therapeutic value of not taking ourselves so seriously!
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The Mind-Body Connection
Anyone who suffers from performance anxiety (stage fright) intimately understands that the mind-body connection is quite real… and that anxiety is not just something you think in your brain… that anxiety is something you feel in your entire body.
There are three particular aspects of this mind-body connection that provide invaluable insights that we are going to use to tame the stage fright monster…
- The mind-body connection is reciprocal: Your state of mind affects your body, but your physical state also affects your state of mind. And it’s not always possible to say which leads and which follows.
- The mind-body connection is specific: Every mental state tends to produce a particular physical state and every physical state tends to produce a particular mental state.
- The mind-body connection is automatic: Some responses are so deeply ingrained–whether by predisposition, reflex, habit, or conditioning–that they are triggered without our permission or conscious intention.
Demonstration of the Mind-Body Connection
Let’s demonstrate the above with a simple and quick experiment: Clench your teeth and clench your fists like you are getting ready to fight. What do you notice?
In my experience, my entire body girds for battle as I lean forward into a confrontational posture. All my muscles, not just my hands and jaw, but my face, torso, and legs become activated to defend myself. My attention narrows as my eyes, ears, and brain go into focused alert mode… crowding out my ability to think about anything else.
Now let’s try another experiment: Smile a genuine smile and hold it. What do you notice?
In my experience, I immediately feel better as my entire posture automatically relaxes. My fists and jaw release to a free and neutral state. My arms and shoulders drop. My awareness becomes more diffuse and receptive as my eyes, ears, and brain go into receiving mode–making space to be playful and spontaneous.
By the way, a smile is so powerful that it will make people around you smile, relax, and feel better too!
We will apply these important insights in future lessons, but, for now, it is sufficient to appreciate the reciprocal, specific, and automatic nature of the mind-body connection.
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Antidote: How to Direct Your Stream of Consciousness
Combine Positive Thinking and Useless Advice?
How to use your natural stream of consciousness to get all your thoughts and feelings moving in the right direction…
To a larger extent than we care to admit, we do not have direct control over our thoughts.
One thought triggers the next thought, which triggers the next thought, which trigger the next, and so on and so on. One might go so far to say: We don’t think our thoughts; our thoughts think us.
In order to illustrate the point, let’s play word association…
- Cat… ___
- White… _____
- Hot… ____
- Up… ____
How about this: Who was your favorite teacher in high school?
By the way, as you were reading this, did you think about your left big toe?
Again, notice how easily our attention can be redirected from one thought to another by external events. Notice how easily we can be knocked “off task” by even the simplest suggestion, much less a monumental event.
The point of this is not to make you feel hopelessly at the mercy of external events.
The point is this: Once we realize how one thought naturally leads to related thoughts, we can exploit this “vulnerability” in order to tame the stage fright monster.
To that end, the idea is simple: We need to prime the pump in order to get our stream of consciousness moving in a desirable direction.
And a simple, but powerful way to accomplish this is to practice intentionally focusing our attention on constructive and desirable things. Restated in more forceful terms, you need to take very seriously what you pay attention to. It’s that simple and that hard.
A Bad Use of Your Stream of Consciousness
Worthless Advice (Why “Try Not to Worry” Doesn’t Work)
The most worthless advice regarding anything worrisome is this: “Try not to think about it.”
Don’t think about it?!
Now all you can do is think about IT!
Instead, what we need is something active and positive, something to DO, not something to NOT do.
We need something that launches our entire being– emotions, thoughts, and behaviors–in the right direction.
To that end “IT” needs to be something positive we want, not something negative that we don’t want.
A Good Use of Your Stream of Consciousness
The Power of Positive Thinking
How to apply the power of positive thinking in a meaningful way for overcoming performance anxiety…
We may not be able to choose our thoughts directly, but we can certainly choose our attitudes.
Our attitudes are bigger than our thoughts and are extremely powerful filters…
A positive attitude filters out negative thoughts and invites positive thoughts, while a negative attitude rejects positive thoughts and invites negative thoughts to enter uninvited.
And so, our attitudes, positive or negative, have the power to create either an upward spiral of optimism or a downward spiral of pessimism–spirals that tend to be self-sustaining and grow over time, for better or worse.
Takeaway: Our attitude is a choice, a choice that sets the tone for all the associations that we make as life and all its unpredictable frustrations and joys unfolds.
And so, an essential practice is to begin each musical encounter, whether in practice or performance, with a positive affirmation appropriate to the occasion… something that can quickly put you in the right frame of mind and heart… something short and sweet… something that you can verbalize internally or at a whisper before your start to play… something like “Smile”, “Have fun!”, “Celebrate”, “Be grateful”… to name but a few.
The science is based on the fact that we have only limited capacity to pay attention to things.
Cultivating a positive attitude toward music and life is not merely some clever technique, but with practice becomes a fundamental and enduring part of who we are as human beings.
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When and How to Practice Having Stage Fright
The stage is not the time and place to discover how your brain and body are going to react and perform under pressure.
Fortunately, you can actually practice having stage fright and practice responding to it well before the performance.
The practice goes like this:
- Create enough pressure to trigger your emotional, mental, and physical performance anxiety responses.
- Once you become aware of each stress response, immediately respond with a constructive counter-measure.
Here are four low-stress ideas for cranking up the pressure…
- Play for an audience of one. Going from an audience of none to an audience of one is a much bigger step than going from one to two and two to three and so on. Practice playing for a trusted friend and pay attention to what happens. Of course you should take advantage of every informal opportunity to perform. Play for your friends and family or demo a piano at a music store.
- Do a “dress rehearsal”. Ideally, at the actual performance venue. As best you can, set up the actual conditions in every detail. Practice taking the stage. Practice smiling, greeting the audience, taking your seat, laying your hands upon the piano. And pay attention to your thoughts, breathing, heartbeat, and body language.
- Visualize your performance. If none of the above are available, the next best thing is to imagine them. Imagine taking the stage. Imagine seeing their faces. Imagine the lighting and the sounds. Imagine your breathing and heartbeat. Imagine your body posture and your hands on the keyboard.
- Record or videotape yourself. The prospect of creating a potentially permanent record of your performance is a great way to crank up the pressure, with the added bonus of immediately telling you where the music is insecure and still needs work.
Having cranked up the pressure it is time to become aware of your stress responses and to respond immediately with positive countermeasures…
- Do you stop breathing? Practice deep diaphragmatic breathing!
- Do you clench your teeth? Practice letting you jaw relax!
- Do you avoid eye contact? Practice smiling at members in the audience!
- Does you mind race? Practice playing from your belly button!
- Do you tend to play faster? Sing the music in your head and play it the way you’re singing it!
- Do you hunch your back and pull your elbows pulling in? Practice an open posture and think C3PO arms!
- Do you lift your shoulders? Practice letting them go!
- Do you tend to play timidly? Practice going for it! Practice playing like you mean it!
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Not the Time and Place
One of the most unsettling, but instructive, discoveries you’ll make on stage is that you suddenly start asking yourself questions…
… that you never asked, much less answered, during your study-practice sessions.
“Which finger plays Eb in my right hand on the third beat of the second phrase?”
If you are unclear about the answer, you are suddenly filled with panic as the Left (analytical) side of your brain tries to seize control of the situation. The problem is that that once the Left (talking) side of your brain gets activated, it’s not typically going to help. It’s only going to distract your attention away from where the music should be coming from: your musical mind on the RIGHT side of your brain.
The antidote, of course, is to use your study-practice time to ask and answer the questions you will be tempted to ask on stage.
To that end, two study-practice methods are particularly relevant to keeping your left brain from hijacking your performance:
- Slow Playing. Study-practice slowly enough to give you enough to consciously think about everything you are doing before you do it.
- Visualization. Study-practice by quizzing yourself in your mind’s ear and eye away from the piano… testing your retrieval of the music so deeply that you can put the music into words.
How do you know you are study-practicing the right way?
Answer: It will make your brain super tired. That is how you know you are learning deeply. But while this is mentally exhausting work, the payoff is priceless. Studying in this focused and conscious way automatically encodes the music so deeply that you will not just know the music. You will know that you know the music.
Studying and practicing as such creates the conditions where the performance is not about making the music happen, but about allowing it to happen. And once we reach that point our music is no longer a calculation, but becomes the deepest expression of who we really are.
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Proven Relaxation Techniques
Did you know that you cannot “try” to relax? Did you know that you cannot command yourself to relax?
What you can do is cultivate the conditions that allow you to relax.
While performance pressures have the power to take our brains and bodies to places where relaxation seems impossible, there are several fast and easy countermeasures available.
Here are a few for your consideration:
- Breathe. Slowly and deeply through your nose, out slowly through your mouth… Belly breathing, the “least” thing, has the power to stop your mind from chattering, slows your heart rate, and reduces blood pressure.
- Drop Your Shoulders. You will amazed at how much tension is carried in your shoulders and how that tension spreads to the rest of your body. The solution: Simply practice letting your arms hang freely from your shoulders.
- Flex Your Muscles. If you want to relax your hands, intentionally make a fist and squeeze hard, then release and shake it off. You can apply this to any muscle group or even your entire body.
- Smile. You will instantly feel better, guaranteed! By the way, a smile is SO powerful that it will make people around you smile and relax, too!
The beauty of these four simple techniques is that they can all be done quickly, intentionally, simultaneously, and inconspicuously at any time and in any place.
But it is not enough to know about these techniques. We need to practice them in low-stress situations… while driving, walking, surfing the internet, doing the dishes… and, of course, every time we sit down to play our instrument.
To that end, do whatever it takes to remind yourself… using an alarm clock, post it notes, or a string on your finger… until such practice becomes second-nature… a positive habit beyond mere technique… so deeply internalized that it becomes an enduring and unshakable aspect of who you are as a human being.
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Body Language (Combine Mind-Body Connection)
Unfortunately, stress has the power to adversely effect your posture and readiness to move… often without your permission and sometimes without your awareness…
In my case, I discovered that I have an unconscious tendency to withdraw into the fetal position. I curl my back, scrunch my shoulders, tuck my elbows at my sides, and pull my knees together.
Special Note from Frank: My tentative explanation for what is happening in my case is that my natural predisposition to become small and motionless (and therefore invisible to a predator) has been triggered and turned into habit by some unpleasant childhood memories of being judged for my performance in many different ways.
No matter the reasons and roots causes, such a closed posture is devastating to a performance in at least four ways:
- It automatically creates muscle tension that impacts your entire body.
- Such muscle tension leads to awkward technique and unmusical timing.
- Such muscle tension distorts the sense of where your body and the piano are in space and time, leading to feelings of insecurity and missed notes.
- Because you did not practice this way, your body is in a situation that it has no experience with.
Of course, none of the above are conducive to an enjoyable, artistic performance. Instead of being fully present with the music you are making, you begin thinking about all those things that can go wrong.
So what’s a poor piano player to do?
One remedy is to simply observe yourself in the course of your routine activities… typing at the computer, driving your car, washing the dishes, signing your name, standing in line at the grocery store. You just might notice that you carry this closed and rigid posture around with you all day long.
The antidote, of course, is to consciously practice the habit of a free and open body posture in everything you do, especially under pressure.
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The Three Fs: Fight, Flight, and Freeze
Most people have heard about the fight or flight response when faced with a threat, real or imagined… but there’s another “F” of particular interest in our discussion about stage fright: the freeze response. In an instinctual attempt to hide from predators by becoming quiet, small, and motionless… we tend to stop breathing, curl into the fetal position, and tense our muscles in preparation to fight or flee in case we are discovered.
But while freezing might have saved our lives in the distant past, doing so today is devastating to a performance in at least three ways:
- It causes stiff, awkward, and unmusical body motions.
- It narrows our field of attention.
- It reduces our sensory awareness.
To illustrate, let’s do a simple experiment: Sit at the piano with your hands suspended above the keyboard as if you are about to play something, then freeze your entire body.
It’s a horrible feeling, right? Notice how all your muscles tense, how your awareness narrows, and how the sensation of what your body is doing almost disappears.
Now allow your entire body to be free… totally unconstrained… from your head down to your toes. Give yourself permission to wiggle and fidget… and notice the heightened sense of ease, freedom, and awareness.
Notice how the sense of where your body is in space and time (known as proprioception) is activated not so much by absolute states, but by changes of states. In other words, a body in motion is very aware of itself, while a body at rest becomes blind to itself.
The Big Takeaway: Freezing is the enemy of fluid technique, the enemy of attention, the enemy of sensation, the enemy of rhythm, the enemy of accuracy, and the enemy of enjoyment. The antidote, of course, is to thaw ourselves out by intentionally hanging loose!
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A Fresh Perspective on Playing for Others
One way to push our performance anxiety all the way to the back row is by reframing what playing music is really all about.
Allow me to explain: I don’t like the word “performance”. The mere thought of the word puts me on edge. I find other words not just less intimidating, but also more appropriate to the occasion. So, instead of “performance”, how about a sharing or a celebration? After all, is not every performance, no matter how humble or informal, a wonderful way to share and celebrate life?
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An Antidote for Self-Consciousness
Simply put, the self-consciousness part of our stage fright is to place our center of attention where it belongs: on the music!
Anything that redirects both your attention and your audience’s attention away from you and towards the music you are making has immense power.
So consider adding the following mantra to your pre-performance ritual (and to your study-practice routine as well!):
Don’t listen to ME; Listen to the SONG! ~ fjpeter
Having Fun
Let’s take a moment to fully appreciate the verb used to describe the making of sounds with a musical instrument: PLAYING!
Ones plays a musical instrument! And to play is to have fun, right? So, don’t think of the stage as a battleground. Think of the stage as your playground and enjoy the results!
Takeaway: If your music is fun to make, it will be fun to listen to!
Mistake Proofing
Studying and practicing with the hope of never making a mistake in performance is not a good plan for at least two reasons:
- Perfection is an impossible standard.
- You will make mistakes.
And so the right approach is to know the music so well that, when you do make the inevitable mistake, you can keep on playing like it’s no big deal!
No one is suggesting that you walk into a performance unprepared. Quite the contrary. Do your best to prepare, but accept that honest mistakes are part of being human and study-practice accordingly. This is a vast subject on its own: Practice Habits
Think of your capacity to handle the inevitable mistake like having a spare tire. Hoping you will never get a flat tire is not a good plan, but having a spare tire just in case reduces your anxiety immensely and gives you a whole new level of confidence that you can get no other way.
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Authenticity
It’s extremely stressful to be something you are not… and even more stressful to pretend to be something you are not. And so, your comfort and confidence in front of an audience is directly proportional to your willingness to be yourself.
To that end, stop trying to play like somebody else. Stop worrying about what others think of you. Stop letting others define success for you. Stop sacrificing your ideals. Be yourself and let your musical life reflect your core values and your can’t go wrong!
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Worry about the Right Things
Instead, start “worrying” about more important things…
- “Worry” about not being yourself.
- “Worry” about playing for the wrong reasons.
- “Worry” about not having fun.
And if you do, you will do more than overcome the jitters and feel better. Your conviction and humble confidence will take your playing to a whole new level. And your audience, no matter how grand or humble, will recognize and feel your integrity and authenticity, guaranteed.
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Presence
Musical performance at its best occurs when you literally forget you are playing… and a remarkable thing occurs…
You become the music!
In this magical place, all self-consciousness evaporates and the music seems to play itself, leaving no room for self-criticism, worry, or regret… and therefore no room for stage fright.
Doing so automatically crowds out all negative thoughts and takes you to a place that joyfully shouts “Yes! Yes! Yes!”, leaving no time or space for your anxious mind to scream “No! No! No!”
Often described as being “in flow” or being “in the zone”, this state of total absorption is not some new age gobbledygook, but describes the reality of playing music at the highest level.
And the great news is this: Getting into “the zone” is something you can practice!
First and foremost, it requires you play with your musical mind. This is accomplished by “singing” the music in your mind’s ear and allowing your muscle memory to follow. Of course, it is not your muscles that remember, but a neural network in your motor cortex that has been trained by expert study-practice to respond automatically and reliably to your focused musical intention.
As you do, keep the following in mind…
- Simply “play” the music inside your head and allow your body to follow.
- Such a meditative state is cultivated by listening, not thinking.
- Listening takes your mind off of you and puts it where it belongs: on the music in the present moment.
- Don’t stop if you make a mistake. Only stop if you fall out of the zone.
- When you feel yourself falling out of the zone (in other words, when you start thinking) refocus all your attention on the music by singing it in your mind’s ear as you play.
- Finding, and staying in, the zone (assuming you study-practiced the right way) is largely the process of learning to trust yourself, just as a competitive golfer learns to “trust their swing” under pressure.
- Practice being so focused on the music that nothing can kick you out of the zone…. not a missed note, not an out of tune piano, not bad lighting, not an itchy nose, not a stuck key, not the presence of an audience.
- Your mind’s ear is not just an abstract concept. When you imagine a sound in your mind’s ear, your auditory cortex (the part of your brain that processes sound) lights up…. which, in turn, automatically lights up your motor cortex (the part of your brain that stores and controls physical motions).
- Playing this way is done with your subconscious mind, which is your right (intuitive) side of your brain at work.
- Thinking, done with the left (analytical) side of your brain, always gets in the way.
- Success requires you to allow your right (non-analytically) brain to lead. Such a meditative state is fostered by being receptive to the music, not by trying to control it.
And if you can find the zone, you’ll do more than just feel better; you’ll take your playing to a whole new level!
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Connecting with the Audience
Realize that the audience wants you to be successful… and not in a selfish way… not as if they demand to be entertained… and not in the sense that they expect perfection. What they really want is to enjoy life, maybe forget abou theri troubles for a little while, and connect with something authentic beyond the routine and predictable.
So, let them know that they are welcome and appreciated… and that you are happy and excited to be there and to share your love of music. Be sociable before, during, and after the performance. Every human connection you make will put both you and your audience at ease and set the stage for something special and real to happen. A genuine smile, a firm handshake, sincere eye contact, and a nod of recognition primes the environment to be open and accepting rather than intimidating and impersonal.
After all, isn’t music, at its best, about uniting us in common purpose to something bigger than ourselves?
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The Power of Gratitude
Sincere Gratitude has the power to transform a performance from a dreadful ordeal to a life-affirming celebration…
Meditation on Gratitude (Audio)
A two and a half minute guided meditation to get you in the proper frame of mind and heart…
Meditation on Gratitude (Transcript)
- Go to the piano… and sit as you normally would.
- Close your eyes… and take three deep breathes… all the way into your belly… slowly in through your nose… and slowly out through your pursed lips.
- With your eyes still closed… reach out with your hands and touch the keys… and realize what a privilege it is to have access to the remarkable instrument in front of you.
- With your eyes still closed… think about the music you love to play… and realize what a privilege it is to have access to such a rich inheritance.
- With your eyes still closed… realize what a privilege it is to have the time and freedom to make music part of your life.
- With your eyes still closed… realize what a privilege it is to have two working arms… and two working hands… and ten working fingers.
- Realize what a privilege it is to have… two good ears to hear… and two good eyes to see.
- With your eyes still closed, realize what a privilege it is to have the opportunity to share your love of music with others!
- Finally, drop your shoulders and breathe deeply… feel your whole body relax… and allow an easy smile to come to your face.
- Now we are ready to begin our work.
The HUGE Takeaway: Never underestimate the power of gratitude to elevate your worldview in so many ways. Make gratitude your starting point every time you sit down to play. And keep on practicing gratitude until it becomes more than something you merely think… and more than just a trick or a technique. Practice gratitude until it becomes automatic… so much so that it becomes who you are as a human being. In doing so, gratitude becomes a master attitude with the power to transform fear and self-consciousness into joy… not just in the world of music-making, but in life in general.
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The Power of Rituals
A simple ritual has the power to put in the right frame of body, mind, and spirit when you sit down to play. Allow me to explain by sharing a simple, yet powerful ritual that I use to center and focus my body, mind, and spirit… It’s something that I do routinely… not just before each and every performance… but also before each and every study-practice session.
On my piano keyboard (not on the music stand, where it can easily be forgotten or ignored) I place an index card with five short and sweet verbal cues: breathe, smile, gratitude, C3PO, sing!
Allow me to share what each cue means to me, as well as the desirable physical and emotional responses that each cue automatically triggers.
Breathe. Deep, slow, deliberate belly breathing… in through my nose and out through my mouth. Doing so slows my heart rate, focuses my attention, and calms me down… every time.
Smile. I smile and feel better… every time. This is the beauty and power of the mind-body connection at work.
Gratitude. For so many things easily taken for granted… for my eyes, ears, fingers, and freedom. When I am grateful, I do more than filter out every negative thought. I do more than just feel better… I feel fortunate. Because I realize what a privilege it is to be sitting in front of a piano with the opportunity to make music. In fact, I realize what a privilege it is to have the opportunity to have stage fright! : )
C3PO. Before I begin, believe it or not, I do a subtle C3PO impression. Yes, C3PO from Star Wars. I find that his playful (is this the right word?) arm motions put my entire body in an open, receptive posture that automatically avoids the closed, defensive posture of the fight, flight, or freeze response.
SING! Not out loud, but in my mind’s ear. I try not to play a single note until I hear the music in my musical mind. So, I sing the music in my head and then I simply play the music the way I hear it! THIS is where the music is… all of it… the notes, the rhythm, the phrasing, the emotion, the technique, the artistry. When you play in this zone, it’s as if nothing else exists and you become the music!
By the way, although it took some time to read about the five aspects above, realize that all five can be performed simultaneously… and will work their magic, silently and inconspicuously, in just a handful of heartbeats.
So, now YOU have homework to do… Design and Practice Your Own Ritual
Using what you’ve learned in this series about your own emotional and physical responses to stage fright, design your own ritual. Make it your own. Find or create something… an object, an image, a poem, a positive affirmation… something unique, something personal… a tangible reminder that you can place on your keyboard.
And make this ritual a routine preparation for every study-practice session and every performance until it becomes second nature.
Doing so will not just help you to survive the performance… Doing so will take your playing to a whole new level.
Doing so will do more than make you feel better… Doing so will transform what used to an ordeal into a celebration of life!
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Courage
We have now arrived at the moment of truth when we have to decide that we really are going to play for others. After all, that’s what we want to do even though it scares us. Let’s remind ourself of our reasons for playing, whatever they may be.
To that end, let’s psych ourselves up by embracing the following…
- There is no bigger confidence booster than confronting the stage fright monster face to face and living to tell the story.
- Life’s most painful regrets are not the things we try and fail to do, but the things we never try all.
- Being afraid doesn’t make you special… But facing that fear honestly, constructively, and courageously makes you very special, no matter what happens.
- There is absolutely no shame in giving something an honest effort and messing up. You can live with that. In fact, you can more than live with that. You can be genuinely PROUD of that!
And so, it is time for you to say to yourself: “I’m tired of being scared!” and just go for it!
And if you do take that leap into the unknown, I bet that you will discover that you are far more capable than you ever dreamed possible!
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Attitude Adjustments (Micro-Lessons)
Quotes from Frank regarding performance anxiety that emphasize self-possession, preparation, authenticity, and courage—shifting focus from fear of mistakes to the joy of sharing music!
Think of managing your nerves as just another SKILL to master… just as you master melody, harmony, rhythm, and technique. ~frank peter
The best way to stop worrying about things is to eliminate things to worry about. ~frank peter
Don’t try to suppress your fears; instead, expand your COMFORT ZONES! ~frank peter
If you’re going to worry, make sure to worry about the right things! (For example: Don’t worry about making a mistake; worry about being boring.) ~frank peter
Your comfort in front of an audience is found by BEING YOURSELF, not by being what you think anyone else wants or expects you to be. ~frank peter
Small confidence comes from knowing the music; BIG CONFIDENCE comes from knowing that you know the music! ~frank peter
Know the music so deeply that, when you make the inevitable mistake, you can keep on playing like it’s no big deal. ~frank peter
It’s okay to take your music seriously without taking yourself seriously. ~frank peter
Even just a wee bit of positive thinking has the power to crowd out ALL negative thoughts. ~frank peter
Smiling automatically makes you feel better. In fact, your smile is so powerful that it will make people around you smile… and feel better, too! ~frank peter
Authentic CONFIDENCE is born of HUMILITY, not self-importance. ~frank peter
Playing for the right reasons is a great way to frustrate the stage fright monster. ~frank peter
A powerful antidote to self-consciousness: “Don’t listen to ME; listen to the MUSIC!” ~frank peter
Sincere GRATITUDE has the power to transform a performance from a dreadful ordeal into a life-affirming CELEBRATION. ~frank peter
CONFIDENCE and presence cannot be commanded; confidence and presence are the fruit of PREPARATION, EXPERIENCE, and COURAGE. ~frank peter
There’s no bigger confidence booster than confronting the stage fright monster face to face… and living to tell the story. ~frank peter
Life’s most painful regret is not having tried and failed… but of never having tried at all. ~frank peter
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That’s a complete class, Frank. I’ll pass it on to my wife.
Be good.
Thanks a million for the positive feedback and for spreading the word, my friend. May I ask what might pique your wife’s interest? Cheers!
A few things. Stage fright is one. She never played the piano before, and tends to have a bit of a rigid attitude. So mind-body should help.
We’ll see.
Happy weekend, Frank